I burn and ruin everything I touch

Hi All! I just wanted to say that I will be checking out this section. Maybe one day I will have something to contribute aside from complaints and whining. I do burn mostly everything. My poor family. Frozen Safeway lasagnas, frozen chicken burgers, I would like to learn how to cook before my kids move away and only have horrible memories of mom's lousy cooking. I am 46 years old and I think it's time I learned how to cook. That's all I wanted to say. Oh, and that y'all are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eva, I'm sure you serve it up with love....and your family knows that! Some no fail, simple recipes...roasted veggies, fish, chicken, pasta, bread and some basic seasonings..you can't go wrong...I'll post a few of my basic recipes. I prefer simple, easy and light on the pocketbook. We live on olive oil and garlic and veggies...LOL. You would be amazed what you can do with just those three ingredients, and how tasty simple creativy can be ...... They'll think you're a chef!

Piper. If you think you can turn eva into a cook, either you really have magical powers or else you are just crazy. But I would loooooove the most basic of recipes. I'm a born again cook. I need to die to my old way of (not) cooking.

Here's a simple recipe for you:

1) Open can.
2) Put contents into bowl.
3) Microwave 1 to 2 minutes.
4) Stir.

Eva, you're cracking me up!!!!!!

When I first got married 29 years ago, the only things I could cook were spaghetti and (canned) tomato soup..... I could hardly even boil water without burning it.

I have since learned to cook a dish or two.... but I STILL can't bake!!!! I will burn baked goods EVERY time!! Even the slice and bake cookies don't turn out if I am the one who slices and bakes them!!!

Santa once left the cookies we put out for him with one bite out of one cookie... and a note that said, simply...... "Yuck"!!!!!!!

Don't give up hope... there are some great cooks here.... Piper is one of them!!!!

Once you master the above, progress to things such as cans of Beef Stew.

1) Dump heated food on plate.
2) Garnish with parsley - that is a green leafy herb, not to be confused with your happy smokes!
3) Mess up your hair.
4) Serve to family, looking worn out!

Once you have mastered that, contact me for real cooking.

Snaz-try Break & Bake cookies. They're really easy & Santa loves them! lol!

Hahaha....I am having a blast reading this thread! Eva, after you master all of Julie's tips...TURN DOWN THE STOVE OR OVEN! When all else fails (when it comes to "burning") use a lower temp. Very rarely can you under cook something (as long as you just cook it longer).

I'm sorry...If I stop laughing long enough...I'll post more tips.

Julie wrote:Snaz-try Break & Bake cookies. They're really easy & Santa loves them! lol!

Thanks, Julie! I've done one better than that.... I let my daughter do the baking!!! She's been an awesome cook and baker since she was a young girl..... obviously a trait she did not inherit from her mother!!! Guess I'll have to be content that she got her good looks from me.....

lol, Good idea Snaz! I'm glad she can cook & bake for you. Maybe Eva can get Eva Jr. into the kitchen too.

I guess Fysty is still......

You have that right Julie...Still That's ok, I may be able to cook, but there are plenty of things I can NOT do. I have a younger sister that can knit & macrame (the knot tying stuff, lol) She can't cook, she can't sew, but damnit that girl can tie some knows and make stuff. And "Knitting"?? I never could figure out what the hell you two with two needles and twist, turn, etc. and it comes out looking like a garment! Not ME. Just can't do it.

Now cooking...On the other hand, I can handle. I'm not very good at measuring so most things are a bit different each time (but all still good). y

Fysty-I don't know anything about knitting or macrame either. However, I used to do latch hook rugs,.......before I had kids, and had time, lol. I like cooking & baking, but lately have been taking some short-cuts, not like the ones I told Eva to do......lol.

Fysty I bet I could give your sister a run for her money with regards to tying knots. When I try to cook my stomach, as well as my families' stomach's all end up in knots!

Jules, I can't open a can because the electric can opener I have pops the can open, spins the can for one inch then dies. But thanks anyway.